Humor: I already know your 2017 New Year's resolutions

My mind is incredibly powerful. It allows me to predict, with a 1% margin of error, at least one of your 2017 New Year’s resolutions.
 
Some people can do calculus. I’m not one of them. But, we all have our talents!
 
So, without further ado, I present your goals for the New Year!

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Eat healthier / cut down on carbs / cut down on sugar

Eat more vegetables

Join a gym / go to the gym to which I belong / get fit / stay fit / run a marathon

Quit drinking / drink less / avoid hangovers / quit smoking

Save more money / spend less money / create budget / stick to a budget / pay off debt / make a dent in debt / create kids' college fund

Spend more quality time with friends and family

Sleep more / stress less / enjoy life to the fullest / tackle my bucket list

Do things at my own pace / avoid getting caught up in the daily grind

Make time for myself and the things I enjoy

Meditate / start a journal / practice yoga / do deep breathing exercises on the subway

Good luck and Happy New Year!!