I am quoting myself. At age 11. WHAT??

I have my teachers to thank for that. I recently unearthed not one, but three autobiographical works by yours truly. I’ll be highlighting some amusing bits on Throwback Thursdays.

This edition features Chapter 7 of my autobiography, “All American Girl”: My Future Dreams. I’ll be typing it exactly as it’s written on paper, since that is half the charm. This was clearly before spell check was invented. I will also add [the reality of what happened] in brackets, nearly 20 years later.

High School Shenanigans

"Here's how I see it. Megan Marsh [my maiden name], student at Lynbrook High School [this was the high school I would have attended, had my family not moved from San Jose to Federal Way, Washington two years later], getting all A’s [I got close to all A’s and took AP classes. GPA was 3.75], yet nervous about college [I only applied to one school and I wasn’t nervous about it. I got in]. Yea, it’s true, but there’s alot more to it than that. In my high school years, I see myself as a cheerleader who can still keep up her grades [that’s exactly what happened! I did cheer for three years]. Sure, I don’t exactly look like a cheerleader now [I was chubby], but there is a lot of time ahead of me before my Lynbrook years [I lost weight the next year]. Besides being involved with sports, I think that I will want to join a few clubs. I’m interested in choir, band, and drama club [I joined none of these clubs]. Of course you probably ask how can I possibly keep my grades up, and also be involved with all of these time consuming activities. Well, right now, I even play an instrument [the piano, which I hated and only played for two years], and I do fantastic in school. Whew! I guess that about sums it up for high school.”

College

“Well, now that I’ve graduated high school, I’m off to….hmmmmm….Point Loma Nazerine College….or Berkeley? Oh, which one should I choose [I chose Seattle Pacific University in Washington]? Let’s see, Point Loma is closer and has better surroundings, but Berkeley is more challenging! Alright, I’ve made up my mind, I choose Point Loma. It has people of my own Christian faith, and I’ll probably never have to face the temptation of drinking, smoking, or doing drugs [hilarious!]. Horray for me! Choosing a college is a very important decision. It decides what you will major in, and what kind of job you will get. Right now, I want to have my name in the theatre, and I hope to be a star [I don’t even remember wanting to be in show business! I think I had done a few church plays at this point]. But if I don’t make it into show business [didn’t happen, didn’t try], I hope to be a singer [nope] or an artist [I still consider myself an artist. I paint, write and take photos in my spare time]. With this in mind, I think I will major in Graphic Designing [great! A major that doesn’t even exist! I majored in journalism.].”

Finding “Mr. Right”

“After four long years of college, I am finally ready to get out into the real world [the real world is much scarier!]. I am not going to get married until I find “ Mr. Right “ [so glad this really happened]. After he is found, I am going to get married, but wait to start a family. If I had children too soon, I might not be ready financially to start a career, and be a mother at the same time [good lord, how was I so responsible?]. I’d have the responsibility to nurse and care for a human being, and I don’t think that I will be ready for that the first year of marrage [we’re expecting our first child in January, 2.5 years after our wedding]. However, once I get my career going, being a cartoonist [WTF????], I might be ready to have children [because cartooning and procreation obviously go hand in hand]. I would live with my husband in Monterey, California, right by the ocean [we currently live in Pittsburgh. There is no ocean here]. This would be great because we could stroll along the beaches, and if we had children, they’d have tons of fun on the wharf and making sandcastles [we’ll do this on future vacations]. I’d like the weather always in the 70’s.”

My Life as a Married Woman

“I think that I’d have a schedule for each day. Say, first, I get up, brush my teeth, shower, and dress [groundbreaking stuff]. Next, I’ll make breakfast, and take the kids to school. Then, at about 9:00, I’ll go to work. I’ll come home at about 6:00, and make dinner. At 6:30, I’ll call the kids in, and we’ll have a nice family meal [sounds wonderful!]. After dinner, the kids will do their homework, and I’ll relax [guess I won’t be helping them with said homework]. At 10:00, I’ll go to bed, and get up at 7:00 the next morning. In my free time, I, Megan __________ [Sharma], will probably enjoy cooking and sewing [the only thing I’ve ever sewn is a bandana. But I love cooking]. If my husband really loves me, he’ll watch the kids when I’m exhausted [are you listening, Arun?]. 

When 30 Happens

“By the year 2013, I will be 30 years old.    YIKES!    I could never see myself being that old, but it has to happen sometime [truth. And I’m almost 31]. Well, anyway, when I’m 30, I think that the medical world will be A LOT more advanced. Doctors might even find a cure for cancer, and AIDS [still working on that]. It would save millions of lifes if they did. I think that the world will have long completed, and perfected the solar car [I was right about one thing]. Then we would have a less polluted world, and a better environment for plants and animals [if only]. 

Well, that’s enough humiliation for one night. Stay tuned for the next edition of my autobiographical Throwback Thursday. 

Steve Krug, you rock. Not only did you write a web usability book way back in 2005 that is still relevant today, but you also filled it with concise examples, fun graphics with entertaining captions, and most importantly—language that a non-techie like me can understand.  

As you may have guessed, I am currently reading “Don’t Make me Think: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability” by Steve Krug.

For all of you other content owners and web junkies out there, I thought I would share what I’ve learned from this book so far.

Steve’s Tips:

1. Don’t make me think!

This is an obvious one (it’s the name of the book, after all). But in practice, it’s such a great checkpoint for decision-making for your web design and content creation.

The test is simple: is the content self-explanatory or does it make you think? When in doubt, ask someone who isn’t familiar with the content if they “get it.”

2. People don’t really use web pages the way we would hope

As Krug points out, people don’t read pages—they scan them. Quickly. We are all pressed for time and often have little patience to find what we’re looking for. As soon as we find something interesting, somewhat resembling what we’re looking for, and clickable—that’s where we go.

In general, we muddle through rather than choosing the “optimal” browsing route, irritating web designers the world over.

3. Think billboard, not street sign

Visual cues are very important when it comes to web design. Readers are looking for the BILLBOARD, not the street sign view. The more prominent on the page, the more likely it is to get noticed.

4. Omit needless words

Krug’s third law: “Get rid of half the words on each page, then get rid of half of what’s left.” Not an easy task, but it does have benefits:

·        Reduces the noise level on the page

·        Makes the useful content more prominent

·        Makes the pages shorter, with less scrolling

Krug also has a vendetta against “happy talk” and “instructions”—happy talk being unnecessary introductory text on the purpose of the page, and instructions being too much information on how to complete a task on the page.

5. The Trunk Test for web navigation

“Imagine that you’ve been blindfolded and locked in the trunk of a car, then driven around for a while and dumped on a page somewhere deep in the bowels of a web site. If the page is well-designed, when your vision clears you should be able to answer these questions without hesitation:”

·        What site is this?

·        What page am I on?

·        What are the major sections of this site?

·        What are my options at this level?

·        Where am I in the scheme of things?

·        How can I search?

Well, Steve—let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. But I like these questions :)