Today's blog post is an entertaining little quiz to test your writing and grammar skilllzzzz. 

In only 10 short questions, you'll know exactly what percent writing genius you are. 

Share it with your friends, compare stats, and earn bragging rights. 

Good luck, and have fun!

PS - Feel free to share your quiz results (without the answers) in the comments!

Take the quiz:

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All about writing: writing 'til it hurts

Your first question should probably be, ‘Why is this even a question, the whole vacationing on your vacation thing?’.
 
To which I say, EXACTLY! Why is it a question?
 
At what point did it become socially acceptable, nay, silently required, to work through one’s time off?
 
I’ve been struggling with this over the last few weeks as I’ve tried to cram a month’s worth of work into a week.
 
This summer has been the usual whirlwind, plus daily swimming lessons, a few trips, tons of writing and a hyper-focus on social media as part of my efforts to win a book deal.
 
I’ve been working. Hard. Constantly. Most of the day and then as soon as my daughter goes to bed for the night—weekends included.
 
I can’t remember the last time I just relaxed and did nothing in the evening.
 
I know, I know…this sounds like the whole ‘I’m SO busy and important’ spiel, but it’s not.
 
The point is, I deserve a vacation, and since I actually have one just around the corner, I am going to take it.
 
Am I under the gun to make my ‘author platform’ happen? Yes, I am. Am I going to be gone for the rest of August and then traveling again in early September? Yup, you betcha.
 
But without time to relax and recharge I fear that both my inspiration and my motivation will dwindle to nothing.
 
And that’s the last thing I want.
 
So, yes. All this rambling does have a conclusion.
 
I’m going on vacation with my family, and I am damn well going to enjoy it (Seattle and an Alaskan cruise, woop woop!).
 
I’ll be right back on the blog come early September, ready to dazzle you with my wit and prose.
 
Until then, I encourage you to find your beach! 

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Business email etiquette has been on my mind as of late.
 
You see, I just wrote this cool e-book called 100 of Your Toughest Business Emails: Solved, available early to my awesome email subscribers, and coming soon to Amazon and other digital formats.
 
The e-book gives tons of examples for things you can or should say when you really feel like wringing your co-worker’s neck, but need to be diplomatic.
 
Oh, but the list of things you SHOULDN’T say in an email with any professional association is practically endless.
 
That’s where I thought I would have some fun. 

Generally, it’s best to avoid the following in business emails:

• Put-downs
• Foul language
• Inappropriate jokes (jokes of any kind, really)
• Attempts to procure money from your colleagues in the form of fundraising or otherwise
• Anything illegal
• Highly confidential or personal information
• Politics, religion. The stuff that works your family into a tizzy at Thanksgiving.
• Anything you wouldn’t want to see plastered on the front page of the newspaper or your company’s intranet page
• Romantic overtures
• Conflicts of interest
• Subjects not related to your work. Period.

 
Now that we’ve established those ground rules, let’s enjoy the best of the worst of them. 

50 Things You Should Never, Ever Say in a Business Email

1.  That outfit is heinous
2.  Everyone knows that so-and-so and so-and-so are having an affair
3.  I'm thinking of leaving to work for a competitor
4.  I don't do much work. I mostly shop online all day.
5.  OMG ROFL & LMAO

6.  I can't stand working with Susie
7.  A kindergartner could do a better job
8.  Don't tell anyone, but I peed in the office coffee pot
9.  Does Bob have a girlfriend?
10.  I'm counting on you to support my Race for the (X Charitable Cause)

11.  Holy F***ing s***!
12.  Did you see last night's episode of "Game of Thrones"? Whoa.
13.  My boss is slowly sucking the life from my soul
14.  WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???
15.  I never have to buy pens anymore. They're free at the office!

16.  What are you having for lunch today? I’m craving sushi.
17.  Sorry, my ex-wife took every last penny
18.  Do you even read your emails?
19.  You really screwed this one up, didn't you?
20.  Rachel looks super sexy today

21.  Do you know where I can buy some weed?
22.  I think I feel a cold coming on…cough, cough (HAHA!). Looks like I'll have to take a 'sick' day :)
23.  Can I borrow $20?
24.  You're going to hell
25.  All the free donuts in the world could not make me happy in this job

26.  I am beyond hungover
27.  How much do they pay you here?
28.  I couldn't care less
29.  FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (Top Secret)
30.  My dog is cuter than your kid

31.  Let's hit the strip club after work
32.  Are you in for online poker during our conference call?
33.  I'm selling my old TV. Do you want it?
34.  Anyone who votes for (X CANDIDATE) is an IDIOT!
35.  I know you're Jewish, but Merry Christmas!

36.  So a guy walks into a bar…
37.  I'm supposed to meet with my parole officer at that time
38.  Forward this email to 10 people or you'll have bad luck!
39.  Macy's is having an awesome buy one, get one free online sale. You in?
40.  I'd rather not sponsor a take your child to work day. I hate children.

41.  WTF?
42.  Remember, there is no I in team
43.  I'm praying for your soul
44.  I have a fantastic investment opportunity for you
45.  It's obvious that she needs a makeover

46.  Does this make sense?
47.  That's not my fault
48.  You're the only one to complain about this
49.  No offense, but…
50.  Anyone on the planet could do a better job than him

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All about writing: writing 'til it hurt

Wedding season is upon us. That glorious time of year spent trolling Macy’s wedding registries for salad spinners, combing the clearance dress rack for a decent ensemble that hasn’t already been photographed to death, and, oh yeah, celebrating the love and marital unions of friends and family.
 
Since I’m in my 30s, I’ve been a guest at quite a few weddings, and I have served as a bridesmaid in three weddings. I have yet to serve that most honored of roles (it’s in the title, after all): Matron of Honor. But when I do, I will be ready!

Any-hoo, I’ve heard a lot of Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches in my time.
 
Since many are on the precipice of this momentous life event, I thought some advice might be in order.
 
I’ll first start by paraphrasing the most horrendous Best Man speech to ever shatter my eardrums. This was an occasion when people’s mouths hung open in disbelief, and it’s an incident still burned into my memory several years later. 

The Worst Best Man Speech of All Time
It goes a little something like this…(yes, this happened for real to one of my best friends). 

I’m happy that Mrs. X & Mr. X have found each other.
 
But I wasn’t always sure it would work out for them.
 
Mr. X’s previous relationships never seemed to last for more than a month. I didn’t think he would ever find a girl who would actually like him.  
 
Then Mr. X started dating Mrs. X.
 
Things were going well at first, until God told Mr. X that he should break up with Mrs. X. I agreed and told him that he should break up with her, immediately.
 
But then he didn’t break up with her.
 
And now they’re married.

I don’t remember anything after that. Pretty sure I was in shock. Let it also be known that this was a dry wedding—no alcohol aside from the champagne toast. So the Best Man didn’t have any excuse for this disaster of a speech.
 
Sigh.
 
Obviously, some wisdom is warranted. 

DON’T EVER SAY ANY OF THESE THINGS AT THE WEDDING OF A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE

• She was dumped quite frequently
• Even though he’s still in love with his ex…
• I never liked Mrs. X, but I guess I have to try, now!
• I’m forbidden from discussing the bachelor party, but let’s just say it was not appropriate for younger audiences
• While it’s clear that he is marrying her for her money…
• The prospects were looking dire, so it’s a good thing that she met him
• I don’t believe in the prison that is marriage
• She’ll make a great first wife
• Just don’t give him any tequila, okay? We all know what happens when he drinks tequila…
• Fourth time’s a charm, right, buddy?
• If only it weren’t for that DUI, she’d be the perfect wife!
• I feel like I’m being replaced, but…(sob)…I’ll get over it
• Ya’ll know the divorce rate it 50%, right? Best of luck with that!
• BLEEP-BA-BLEEP-BLEEP—BLEEPETY BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Oh. Sorry, Grandma June. I should have told you to turn off your hearing aid for that part. 

Okay, so what CAN I talk about?
 
Talk about love. Talk about how the couple complements one another. Talk about how you’ve never seen your friend happier. Talk about how much they both mean to you. And wish them the best in their new life together.
 
It’s pretty simple, really.
 
Happy wedding season!

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Steve Krug, you rock. Not only did you write a web usability book way back in 2005 that is still relevant today, but you also filled it with concise examples, fun graphics with entertaining captions, and most importantly—language that a non-techie like me can understand.  

As you may have guessed, I am currently reading “Don’t Make me Think: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability” by Steve Krug.

For all of you other content owners and web junkies out there, I thought I would share what I’ve learned from this book so far.

Steve’s Tips:

1. Don’t make me think!

This is an obvious one (it’s the name of the book, after all). But in practice, it’s such a great checkpoint for decision-making for your web design and content creation.

The test is simple: is the content self-explanatory or does it make you think? When in doubt, ask someone who isn’t familiar with the content if they “get it.”

2. People don’t really use web pages the way we would hope

As Krug points out, people don’t read pages—they scan them. Quickly. We are all pressed for time and often have little patience to find what we’re looking for. As soon as we find something interesting, somewhat resembling what we’re looking for, and clickable—that’s where we go.

In general, we muddle through rather than choosing the “optimal” browsing route, irritating web designers the world over.

3. Think billboard, not street sign

Visual cues are very important when it comes to web design. Readers are looking for the BILLBOARD, not the street sign view. The more prominent on the page, the more likely it is to get noticed.

4. Omit needless words

Krug’s third law: “Get rid of half the words on each page, then get rid of half of what’s left.” Not an easy task, but it does have benefits:

·        Reduces the noise level on the page

·        Makes the useful content more prominent

·        Makes the pages shorter, with less scrolling

Krug also has a vendetta against “happy talk” and “instructions”—happy talk being unnecessary introductory text on the purpose of the page, and instructions being too much information on how to complete a task on the page.

5. The Trunk Test for web navigation

“Imagine that you’ve been blindfolded and locked in the trunk of a car, then driven around for a while and dumped on a page somewhere deep in the bowels of a web site. If the page is well-designed, when your vision clears you should be able to answer these questions without hesitation:”

·        What site is this?

·        What page am I on?

·        What are the major sections of this site?

·        What are my options at this level?

·        Where am I in the scheme of things?

·        How can I search?

Well, Steve—let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. But I like these questions :)