Megan Sharma's Blog: The Savvy Surgeon's Wife

One year after my major career change from full-time mom to full-time writer: reflections and lessons learned

5/20/2017

It hit me yesterday: it’s already been a year since I made the dramatic transition from full-time stay-at-home mom to full-time writer.

Last May, I was fretfully writing this blog about our daughter’s foray into daycare, scarcely enjoying my newfound freedom after spending 15 months at home with J.

I knew that daycare would be healthy and beneficial to all of us, but it was tough to swallow at the time.

Today, J. is thriving, and so am I.

J. enjoys doing daily art projects at daycare

Taking the time to see a dream to completion—finishing my very first book—was finally a reality.

Some days it was thrilling. Some days it felt like a burden. And other days it was so inspiring I could hardly believe that it was my life.

By the end of October 2016, I had put the finishing touches on the first draft of my manuscript. Simply exhilarating.

Then, I realized that writing three days a week was not going to be sufficient time to research, query and secure a literary agent, write a blog every week (no exceptions), build my social media following, write a book proposal, and essentially learn all there is to know about the publishing industry.

I made another decision.

It was time to go FULLY full-time, and so I did. Was there guilt? Yes. Am I glad that I did it? Absolutely. Because there is no question about it: building a successful writing career as an author or freelancer is a full-time job.

Here are a few things I have learned about building a writing career over the past year:

1. Challenges are key. Without setting ambitious goals and deadlines for myself, on a weekly basis, it’s far too easy to get lost in research, online courses, books, and YouTube videos. I cranked out the most work when I was actively preparing for the San Francisco Writers Conference in February. I knew that I wouldn’t have any excuses for being unprepared when I pitched my book to agents face-to-face, and that knowledge fueled my fire.

2. I should have joined Twitter years ago. If other writers or authors out there are hesitant to join Twitter, like I was, I highly encourage you to jump on the bandwagon as soon as possible. I procrastinated on joining for far too long. And, you know what? I absolutely LOVE Twitter! The character limit is actually a bit freeing, because there is only so much you can squeeze into one post. It’s a community of millions of intelligent, funny and curious people. Plus, I have built a following about a million times faster on Twitter than on Facebook, honestly, with very little effort. I simply Tweet about things that I find interesting, useful, humorous, shocking, etc. Facebook is still necessary, but my heart belongs to Twitter.

3. All it takes is one ‘yes’. I know, I know—cheese alert! You can’t deny the truth of the statement, though. When I wanted to get more publication credits to my name, I started with guest blogging. And then I pitched an article to The Write Life—I now have two articles that they will publish in June and July. And I will keep moving forward from there. Success builds upon success, although not necessarily as quickly as you would like it to.

4. I still need to make time for ‘life’. I used to lament the ‘workday’ time I spent at Target, the grocery store, or putting away laundry. Until I realized that these activities are not only necessary for me and my family, they can also be a ‘break’ when I need to take a time out from my computer screen. I also make time to have coffee with friends, to sweat through Zumba class, and to check out an occasional sale event. It’s all part of what makes my world keep turning.

5. My career = my choice. It is so liberating to think that I have the ultimate say in where my career goes. I’m limited only by my own imagination. Will I write more books? You bet. Will I take up travel writing? I would love to! Will I get a coveted byline in The New York Times? That’s the plan. I’m calling the shots, and I feel so fortunate to be in that position.

How about you? Have you made a major career or life change? What have you learned from the experience? I would love to hear from you

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Wedding Season: What NOT to say about the bride and groom in your best man or maid of honor speech

5/7/2017

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Wedding season is upon us. That glorious time of year spent trolling Macy’s wedding registries for salad spinners, combing the clearance dress rack for a decent ensemble that hasn’t already been photographed to death, and, oh yeah, celebrating the love and marital unions of friends and family.

Since I’m in my 30s, I’ve been a guest at quite a few weddings, and I have served as a bridesmaid in three weddings. I have yet to serve that most honored of roles (it’s in the title, after all): Matron of Honor. But when I do, I will be ready!

Any-hoo, I’ve heard a lot of Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches in my time.

Since many are on the precipice of this momentous life event, I thought some advice might be in order.

I’ll first start by paraphrasing the most horrendous Best Man speech to ever shatter my eardrums. This was an occasion when people’s mouths hung open in disbelief, and it’s an incident still burned into my memory several years later.

The Worst Best Man Speech of All Time
It goes a little something like this…(yes, this happened for real to one of my best friends).

Photo credit: mugley via VisualHunt.com / CC BY-SA

I’m happy that Mrs. X & Mr. X have found each other.

But I wasn’t always sure it would work out for them.

Mr. X’s previous relationships never seemed to last for more than a month. I didn’t think he would ever find a girl who would actually like him.

Then Mr. X started dating Mrs. X.

Things were going well at first, until God told Mr. X that he should break up with Mrs. X. I agreed and told him that he should break up with her, immediately.

But then he didn’t break up with her.

And now they’re married.

I don’t remember anything after that. Pretty sure I was in shock. Let it also be known that this was a dry wedding—no alcohol aside from the champagne toast. So the Best Man didn’t have any excuse for this disaster of a speech.

Sigh.

Obviously, some wisdom is warranted.

DON’T EVER SAY ANY OF THESE THINGS AT THE WEDDING OF A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE

She was dumped quite frequently
Even though he’s still in love with his ex…
I never liked Mrs. X, but I guess I have to try, now!
I’m forbidden from discussing the bachelor party, but let’s just say it was not appropriate for younger audiences
While it’s clear that he is marrying her for her money…
The prospects were looking dire, so it’s a good thing that she met him
I don’t believe in the prison that is marriage
She’ll make a great first wife
Just don’t give him any tequila, okay? We all know what happens when he drinks tequila…
Fourth time’s a charm, right, buddy?
If only it weren’t for that DUI, she’d be the perfect wife!
I feel like I’m being replaced, but…(sob)…I’ll get over it
Ya’ll know the divorce rate it 50%, right? Best of luck with that!
BLEEP-BA-BLEEP-BLEEP—BLEEPETY BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Oh. Sorry, Grandma June. I should have told you to turn off your hearing aid for that part.

Okay, so what CAN I talk about?

Talk about love. Talk about how the couple complements one another. Talk about how you’ve never seen your friend happier. Talk about how much they both mean to you. And wish them the best in their new life together.

It’s pretty simple, really.

Happy wedding season!

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For writers: All your writing fears, squashed!

5/4/2017

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If there is one thing that writers and creative minds in all corners of the planet have in common, it is this: fear and self-doubt. Okay, two things. We all have two things in common, regardless of our age, gender, nationality, experience, and level of success.

I’m going to face those fears head-on today.

Writers: this is for you. Because we all need a solid pep talk on occasion, no?

Photo credit: Mike Morbeck via Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA

Your 7 greatest writing fears: SQUASHED!

Fear #1: I don’t have the talent. Are you comparing yourself to Stephen King and shrinking away from your own potential?

Here’s what the man himself has to say about that: “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” —Stephen King.

The 30th President of the United States would agree. “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”—Calvin Coolidge

Talent is part of the equation, but doesn’t represent the whole picture.

Photo credit: AZRainman via Visual Hunt / CC BY

Fear #2: My writing isn’t good enough. Says who? (“Who says, who says you're not perfect?
Who says you're not worth it?”—Selena Gomez in the song “Who Says”). Sorry, I’ve been listening to an ungodly amount of Kidz Bop radio as of late.

Seriously, though. Who says you or your writing are not good enough?

You? A whole bunch of literary agents? Your parents? Your so-called friends? Publishers? The Queen of England?

The better question is: who cares? Keep at it. Some say that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill. The only way you get better at writing is by writing, so don’t give up.

Photo credit: Thomas's Pics via Visual Hunt / CC BY

Fear #3: Nobody will want to read this. J.K. Rowling probably shared the same misbelief. She was a single mother and struggling to make ends meet while writing her first book. Her original Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by 12 publishers before it was picked up. Her first advance was only 1500 British pounds.

And, yet?

The Harry Potter books have sold more than 450 million copies worldwide, and J.K. Rowling was the first author to become a billionaire. As in BILLIONAIRE!

So, take it from J.K.: don’t sell yourself short. You have potential readers out there.

Photo credit: lozikiki via VisualHunt / CC BY-ND

Fear #4: I’ll never be a bestseller. Paula Hawkins became an international bestseller with her debut novel, “The Girl on the Train”. The book, an overwhelming success, has sold over 18 million copies worldwide and has been adapted into a major motion picture.

I repeat: this was Hawkins’ very first published book.

Refine your craft, edit ad nauseum, heed the advice of people with larger-than-usual craniums, and you just may hit that bestseller list.

Fear #5: I won’t know what to do with success. Of all the non-problems in this problem-filled world, this one takes the cake. You really needn’t fret about this one.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”—Albert Schweitzer.

In essence: do what you love and love what you do, and good things will come to you. Continue down that path, don’t stagnate, and you’ll reap the joys of fulfilling your true purpose in life.

Fear #6: What if I only have one book in me? Nobody is lining up around the block to be the next ‘one-hit-wonder’. My half-hearted apologies to Los del Rio (“Macarena”), Right Said Fred (“I’m Too Sexy”), Baha Men (“Who Let the Dogs Out”), and Chumbawamba (“Tubthumping”—AKA, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you are never gonna keep me down”). My sincere apologies for getting Chumbawamba stuck in your head.

It is true that literary agents and publishers want to work with authors with careers ahead of them, rather than a single hit book.

If you’ve written and published a book, chances are, you can do it again. Chances are even greater that you will continue to improve with each piece of writing that you create.

Have a little faith in yourself!

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”—Helen Keller.

Photo credit: dbking via Visual hunt / CC BY

Fear #7: Nobody wants to hear from me. Not a celebrity, politician, or a YouTube star? It’s daunting to think about breaking into the publishing industry, isn’t it?

I struggle with this myself. Sometimes, when I’m feeling persnickety, I marvel at the unfairness of the fact that even C list celebrities in the public eye are automatically considered for book deals based solely on who they are. Many have memoirs and tell-alls that are ghost-written or, at the very least, heavily edited.

I’ve (begrudgingly) come to accept this reality.

But the existence of celebrity non-writers with published books does NOT negate the need and demand for real writing from real, non-famous people.

Assume that there are people out there who want to read what you have to say.

Take Amanda Hocking, for example. A few years ago, she was an unknown, unpublished writer of paranormal fiction. Back in 2010, Amanda desperately wanted to see an exhibit about Jim Henson, the creator of the Muppets, but she couldn’t afford to make the trip.

What did Amanda do? She decided to self-publish one of the many novels that had seen rejection after rejection from traditional publishers over the years.

Her plan panned out. In short: Amanda more than funded her $300 super fan trip to the Jim Henson exhibit.

Amanda has made millions of dollars by self-publishing her work. Her persistence has paid off, big time.

“Sometimes I'd say: 'I'm done, I'm never going to write another book,' but then a couple of months later I'd have another idea and I'd start again. This time it was bound to work."—Amanda Hocking.

Final thoughts

Some days, your writing may feel like this:
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Other days, it may feel more like this:
“You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.”
― Saul Bellow

But always remember this:
“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
― Philip Pullman

Writers, keep on writing!

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One year after my major career change from full-time mom to full-time writer: reflections and lessons learned

Wedding Season: What NOT to say about the bride and groom in your best man or maid of honor speech

For writers: All your writing fears, squashed!

The Savvy Surgeon's Wife Blog

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One year after my major career change from full-time mom to full-time writer: reflections and lessons learned

Wedding Season: What NOT to say about the bride and groom in your best man or maid of honor speech

For writers: All your writing fears, squashed!

The Savvy Surgeon's Wife Blog

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