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100 believable excuses to help you avoid doing practically anything

4/6/2017

2 Comments

 
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Got a hankering for procrastination? Aiming to avoid an unpleasant social situation? Get your fill here!
 
Now, I'm all for accountability and doing what's right. But every now and then we need a polite reason to say 'no'.

​Check out these totally legit excuses for just about anything. 
  1. I think I’m getting sick
  2. I’m SO sick
  3. My dog is sick
  4. My cat is sick
  5. My kids are sick
  6. My iguana is sick
  7. It’s that time of the month (for the ladies, only)
  8. I need to visit the veterinarian
  9. I have a doctor’s appointment
  10. I have a dentist appointment​
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      11.  I have a doctor’s note
     12.  I’m allergic to it
     13.  I’m pregnant
     14.  I just had a baby
     15.  My wife is pregnant
     16.  My wife just had a baby
     17.  I’m too tired
     18.  My kids are too tired/cranky
     19.  I’m too busy
     20.  It’s too cold
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      21.  It’s too hot
     22.  The weather is too perfect
     23.  I don’t have the money
     24.  I don’t have the time
     25.  I don’t have the desire
     26.  I have nothing to wear
     27.  I’ve never done it before
     28.  I’ve done it too many times before
     29.  I have a prior commitment
     30.  I’ll have to play it by ear
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      31.  I don’t have a babysitter
     32.  I can’t afford a babysitter
     33.  Our babysitter quit
     34.  It’s not in the budget
     35.  I won’t know until I have a budget
     36.  My psychic said not to
     37.  My shrink said not to
     38.  My husband/wife said not to
     39.  I’m not in the mood
     40.  It’s one of my biggest fears
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      41.  I’ll need to think about it, first
     42.  I haven’t had my coffee yet
     43.  I haven’t had my wine yet
     44.  I haven’t had my whiskey yet
     45.  I have to work
     46.  My husband/wife has to work
     47.  My life is too complicated
     48.  My life is boring, but I like it that way
     49.  That’s not my job
     50.  That’s his job
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Photo credit: atramos via Visualhunt.com / CC BY
      51.  That’s her job
     52.  Why don’t we see if the intern can manage it?
     53.  I’m too drunk
     54.  I’m not drunk enough
     55.  I’m going out of town
     56.  I’m out of town
     57.  I just returned from being out of town
     58.  This isn’t a priority for me
     59.  I don’t know what my priorities are
     60.  I’m too busy writing my bucket list
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      61.  I’m too busy pining over my bucket list
     62.  I’m too busy living my bucket list
     63.  I thought you were only joking
     64.  I was only joking
     65.  I thought you meant next week
     66.  I thought you were speaking to someone else
     67.  I didn’t think you were serious about that
​     68.  My computer is broken
     69.  My computer has a virus
     70.  I need to buy a new computer
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      71.  We don’t know each other well enough for that
     72.  We know each other all too well
     73.  I have no memory of that
     74.  My back hurts
     75.  My knees hurt
     76.  I just got Lasik
     77.  The timing is off right now
     78.  It’s not you, it’s me
     79.  I have a conference
     80.  I have a meeting
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     81.  I have to check my email
     82.  My kids are potty training
     83.  I have to drop off/pick up my kids from school
     84.  I have to visit my grandfather in the hospital
     85.  I already have plans
     86.  I must wait at home for a delivery
     87.  I must wait at home for a service call
    88.  My favorite show is on TV (because I live in another century and don’t have On Demand)
     89.  I thought you were being sarcastic
     90.  My hamster died
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     91.  I was being sarcastic
     92.  It’s against my religion
     93.  I’m not religious
     94.  My parents would kill me if they found out
     95.  My kids would kill me if they found out
     96.  I’m not allowed to
     97.  I don't have the energy
     98.  My boss said I shouldn’t
     99.  If the President of the United States doesn’t do it, nor will I
     100.  It’s a full moon
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Still not enough excuses for you? Wow, you must be an excuse-making all-star. Try this random excuse generator, you terrible person, you. 


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Celebrating Women’s History Month: 10 women of medicine and science that will knock your socks off
A real, imperfect day in the life of a writer: me
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Book preview for When Medicine Meets Holy Matrimony: No, I don’t want no scrubs
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Humor: I already know your 2017 New Year's resolutions (in memes)
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Parenting and humor: Swim diapers are a LIE
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2 Comments
Eli Goodman
4/6/2017 02:24:23 pm

Now you're beginning to sound like Jackie Mason.
Getting closer to repair the hernia-- laughter is bad for it.

Reply
Megan Sharma link
4/6/2017 02:25:51 pm

Thanks, Eli. You can send me the bill ;)

Reply



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