Book preview for When Medicine Meets Holy Matrimony: A word to mothers who aspire to have a surgeon-in-law

​Oh, you moms out there (I now count myself a member of your prestigious ranks, so I can say that). You want the very best for your children. And I mean the very best. We’re talking champagne wishes and caviar dreams, ya’ll. And who could blame us?
 
Maybe you, like my amazing in-laws, decided to leave everything behind in your early thirties so that your five-year-old son and future children would have a better life in a country thousands of miles from where your ancestors were born.
 
Perhaps you quit a lucrative corporate job to stay home with your sweet baby girl. That’s what I did.
 
Or maybe you saved your pennies to send each of your kids to college debt free. That is a very special gift.
 
We want it all for our offspring, simply put. And we want them to find the right person to share their lives with.
 
We pray that our daughters will meet and marry a man who is loving, kind, patient, funny, good looking, and smart. Definitely not “The Bachelor”. Oh, god, no. Someone who has his s*** together, essentially.
 
If you think “Dr. Prince Charming” has a nice ring to it, you’re probably not alone. Just think of all the free medical advice! How should I treat a migraine? Do I need to be taking supplements? What shall I do about these warts? Oh, what fun!
 
I’m here to offer a bit of a reality check to mothers who aspire to have a surgeon-in-law (SIL):

• If you imagined getting out of those regular mammograms and colonoscopies, think again. Your SIL is going to make sure you get those done, come hell or high water.
• You’re going to have the safest grandbabies ever!
• You will get free medical advice, but it will sometimes irritate your darling SIL (especially if you constantly ask questions outside of his or her area of expertise).
• More than likely, your child and their family will be moving in order to advance your SIL’s career. Possibly more than once, and possibly for good.
• Your SIL will likely know more about your health status than you will. He/she can read between the lines.

 
My mom loves her SIL dearly and I’m sure she would carry the banner for other moms out there who want to join the club.
 
The club is pretty cool. The club comes with a free lifetime subscription to Men’s Health and Family Circle. Just kidding.