Apparently, at the age of 14, I was an amateur astrologist.
Actually, I was a journalism student and reporter for my junior high school newspaper. Reporting on critical current events and, of course, horoscopes.
Happy Throwback Thursday!
Lovable Leo (July 23-August 22)
Whatever floats your boat will eventually cause it to sink. You swear Big Foot leaves fingerprints. You are full of ideas, but half of them are ridiculous.
Vivacious Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Singing in the shower will attract a large crowd. Your bright eyes will cause someone to go blind. Everyone knows your best kept secret.
Look-at-me-Libra (September 23-October 23)
Sleep late and you’ll get the job done. The eyes in the back of your head need a check-up. When money talks, don’t listen.
Super Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
Minted coins have absolutely no flavor. Athlete’s foot won’t improve your running capabilities. The early bird catches some zzz’s.
Stunning Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
Wearing stilts makes you feel short. Stand close to the microphone and you’ll get good feedback. Let your imagination flow uphill.
Curious Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
See how fast you can get nothing done. Wishing on a star could attract asteroids. Your favorite color is plaid.
Admirable Aquarius (January 21-February 18)
Rushing into the unknown will get you a speeding ticket. Taste the rainbow, once it stops raining. Happiness is manufactured.
Peaceful Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Your most annoying traits are attractive. Your homework ate our dog. Static electricity will cause a power outage.
Awesome Aries (March 21-April 19)
Trying to breathe underwater will have surprising results. Your pillow is as hard as a rock. Take a bite out of crime, but remember to brush and floss afterward.
Tubular Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You prefer empty fortune cookies. Overcome your worst fears by turning off your night light. Kleenex doesn’t do windows.
Glorious Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Hug a tree only if you’re comfortable with sap. Opportunity comes from the King Foo fighter inside you. Aspirin will give you a headache.
Crazy Cool Cancer (June 22-July 22)
You’ve never worn your favorite shirt. Paint a mental picture with watercolors. Keep your eyes wide shut, and you won’t miss a thing.
Actually, I was a journalism student and reporter for my junior high school newspaper. Reporting on critical current events and, of course, horoscopes.
Happy Throwback Thursday!
Lovable Leo (July 23-August 22)
Whatever floats your boat will eventually cause it to sink. You swear Big Foot leaves fingerprints. You are full of ideas, but half of them are ridiculous.
Vivacious Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Singing in the shower will attract a large crowd. Your bright eyes will cause someone to go blind. Everyone knows your best kept secret.
Look-at-me-Libra (September 23-October 23)
Sleep late and you’ll get the job done. The eyes in the back of your head need a check-up. When money talks, don’t listen.
Super Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
Minted coins have absolutely no flavor. Athlete’s foot won’t improve your running capabilities. The early bird catches some zzz’s.
Stunning Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
Wearing stilts makes you feel short. Stand close to the microphone and you’ll get good feedback. Let your imagination flow uphill.
Curious Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
See how fast you can get nothing done. Wishing on a star could attract asteroids. Your favorite color is plaid.
Admirable Aquarius (January 21-February 18)
Rushing into the unknown will get you a speeding ticket. Taste the rainbow, once it stops raining. Happiness is manufactured.
Peaceful Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Your most annoying traits are attractive. Your homework ate our dog. Static electricity will cause a power outage.
Awesome Aries (March 21-April 19)
Trying to breathe underwater will have surprising results. Your pillow is as hard as a rock. Take a bite out of crime, but remember to brush and floss afterward.
Tubular Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You prefer empty fortune cookies. Overcome your worst fears by turning off your night light. Kleenex doesn’t do windows.
Glorious Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Hug a tree only if you’re comfortable with sap. Opportunity comes from the King Foo fighter inside you. Aspirin will give you a headache.
Crazy Cool Cancer (June 22-July 22)
You’ve never worn your favorite shirt. Paint a mental picture with watercolors. Keep your eyes wide shut, and you won’t miss a thing.
