Photo via marcisim via Visual Hunt
- Getting ‘all dolled up’ isn’t about beautifying yourself. It means you’re having a tea party. With dolls.
- You keep kid juice (organic apple juice boxes) and adult juice (wine, wine and more wine) in the house at all times.
- You need tummy control…ev-ery-thing.
- Only after you’ve read all the parenting books on the market do you allow yourself to indulge in that tempting NYT Best Seller.
- Shoes from your life before kids: heels, a dash of red, a sprinkle of animal print. Shoes from your mom life: they’re all flat and hella comfy. That is all.
My high heels are now reserved for dress-up parties. Photo via jill via Visualhunt
- You wish you had thought of Spanx. You’d totally be rich.
- You’re tempted to frame a few scribbles on construction paper in a museum quality frame.
- You are the only person in your household who knows the location of all the food items.
- You drink coffee until it’s socially acceptable to drink wine.
- Your idea of a spa treatment is a hot shower—alone.
The shower is my spa. Photo via Visual Hunt
- Just when you don’t think your heart could possibly hold any more love, it expands just a little more.
- If you push your belly out just so, you can look like you’re pregnant again. It’s a gift.
- You enjoy shopping more for children’s clothing and accessories than for yourself.
- You put on just enough makeup to avoid looking like a zombie. Nothing more, nothing less.
- You only have time to catch up with your girlfriends while driving in the car. Thank goodness for Bluetooth systems!
- You’re a master of the art of the faux shower.
- Your parameters for clothing purchases include: will it hide smudges from chocolate chip cookies? Sold.
- You’re practiced in spelling out words when conversing with your partner.
- You listen to Kidz Bop radio when your children are not in the car.
- You feel so relaxed when getting your eyebrows waxed that you don’t want to get up.
- Goldfish crackers are as much a part of your purse as your credit card and driver’s license.
