Mom Life: Imagine a World Run by Moms

10/8/2017

Sometimes when I’m cleaning up a puddle of pee or begging my toddler to put on pants, I dream. I dream of a world run by moms.

Dream with me, friends.

Welcome to a World Run by Moms

All doors at shopping malls, grocery stores and restaurants are wide enough to accommodate a double stroller.

There is no such thing as ‘mom jeans’, only ‘your booty looks fabulous jeans’.

Paid maternity leave is guaranteed for ALL moms.

Diaper changing stations are available in all men’s restrooms, and those restrooms are clean as a whistle. Why isn’t this already a thing?

Mornings are peaceful and nag-free. Kids dress themselves, use the bathroom, brush their teeth and hair, and eat breakfast without the constant power struggle.

Businesses offer free, on-site day care for working moms.

Moms in a hurry can opt for the express check-out lane reserved for moms in every store.

Anyone traveling with a child (mom, dad or grandparent) is granted unlimited carry-on baggage. Oh yeah, and they enjoy priority boarding, like in the good old days.

Car seats are designed to be buckled and un-buckled one-handed.

Workplaces are equipped with pumping rooms and napping rooms for new moms.

Eating chocolate burns calories rather than piling them on.

No more mom brain – your to do list magically takes care of itself.

Nail and hair salons offer a playground and supervised childcare for your kiddos.

Feeling achy? Text the Mobile Mom Masseuse Squad to work out those kinks while you're on the go.

When a mom decides she is done having children, she is offered a complimentary tummy tuck and a spa day, because she deserves it.

Can’t make it through your errands without a cat nap? Check into Hotel Mom for an hour or two, a plush sanctuary for you to get some rest (childcare provided).

Every new mother is matched with a highly qualified personal assistant while they figure things out.

Out of milk and diapers? Breeze through your friendly neighborhood baby emergency supply drive-thru.

Local baristas are trained to memorize their mom customers’ orders to help speed things along. In fact, they have your drink ready as you walk through the door.

When you’re up late feeding your baby, click on the Entertain Mom app, filled with hilarious YouTube videos, memes and articles just for moms.

About to have a total freak-out moment? Step into a discreet, sound-proof Freak Out Pod, and scream and swear to your heart’s content.

Moms night out = any damn night (or day) you please.

A museum-quality curation service arranges and displays your kids’ art perfectly in your home.

Women and men are paid equally. Because we are LITERALLY doing the exact same work. Again, why is this not reality?

Drinking fountains are expanded to include coffee fountains, filled with organic cold brew, of course.

No time to get dolled up before work or a play date? Stop into a beauty café, and a skilled makeup artist will do your makeup while you wait for your latte.

No need to worry about re-stocking that diaper bag. It restocks itself when supplies get low.

Got a personal haz-mat situation, thanks to a baby spit up or blowout? Pop into a Freshen Up Pop Up for moms, where you can grab a quick shower and a change of clothes without stinking up your car.

Ummmm…any entrepreneurial moms out there who want to make this happen? I. Am. In!

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Mom Life: Imagine a World Run by Moms

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